Are there more tops or bottoms in the gay community
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This kind of binary thinking often forces people into boxes that don't truly represent their complex feelings or experiences.
Moving past a binary view of sexual roles allows for greater freedom and authenticity in one's sexual expression. It reflects a flexibility in sexual preference, moving beyond rigid classifications and embracing a fuller range of experiences.
Do masculinity stereotypes influence whether someone identifies as a top or bottom?
Historically, some harmful masculinity stereotypes have inaccurately linked the "top" role with perceived masculine traits and the "bottom" role with femininity.
The psychology behind our desires and the powerful influence of social factors play a significant role in shaping our preferences and how we express them within a relationship.
Distinguishing Between Preference and Identity
It's crucial to understand that having a strong preference for a certain role doesn't automatically define a person's entire sexual identity.
Many people see their role as a fluid preference that can change depending on their partner or mood, rather than a fixed and permanent label.
The Impact of Masculinity Stereotypes
Society often imposes rigid ideas about what it means to be masculine.
And yes, not only does he prefer the insertive end of anal intercourse, he’s what we in the industry call a “total top,” meaning that his butthole, in the crude parlance of homophobes everywhere, is a one-way street. “And people think that if you’re a stereotype in one area, then you’re a stereotype in another.”
In other words, we still haven’t evolved enough in 2016 to separate sexual preferences from looks and personality.
While Tops and Bottoms remain iconic archetypes, Vers men have quietly become the statistical center of gravity. Confidence (20%) and humor (16%) rounded out the list.
The data suggests a growing trend: emotional safety, warmth, and compatibility are becoming central to sexual desire.
Every Role Has a Vibe
Finally, when asked to describe the vibe of their role:
- 41% said playful and flirty
- 40% said chill and romantic
- 10% said experimental and wild
- 9% said dominant and bold
Despite popular fantasies of aggressive Tops and submissive Bottoms, gay men overwhelmingly see their sexual selves as warm, soft, flirty, curious, and romantic.
Roles don’t make gay men harder or edgier, they make them more expressive.
A Community Redefining Itself
Taken together, these findings reveal a community continually reshaping its own narrative.
It’s one of the clearest signs that, across roles, gay men value build-up — not just as a practical step, but as the space where chemistry forms and anticipation becomes part of the pleasure. The prevalence of the "versatile" identity, along with the understanding that preferences can change over time and with different partners, shows a community that embraces nuance over simple labels.
It’s about freedom and the power of naming, exploring, and enjoying what feels good.
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At dinner recently, a female friend mentioned how shocked she was to discover that our mutual gay acquaintance was a top.
It's time to examine what actual data and community surveys reveal about the prevalence of each sexual role and how these labels are used in the real world.
What Research Says About Sexual Role Preferences
To move beyond personal anecdotes, it's helpful to look at large-scale data.
However, some men know just what those stereotypes are, and because of the stigma attached to bottoming—a byproduct of a patriarchal society that tells us everything that is feminine is wrong—they seek physical ways to keep other people from spotting them as a bottom.
In the study, 23 participants (seven of whom were female) were shown online dating profile pictures of 200 gay men—100 who unambiguously self-identified as tops, 100 as bottoms, zero as versatile—and asked to identify the role they preferred based solely on their appearance. What a person chooses to write in a profile or check in a survey box is a personal and sometimes simplified expression of a complex reality.
These labels can be incredibly useful for communication and finding compatible partners, but they can also be misleading if viewed as rigid, permanent categories.
A person's behavior may not always align perfectly with their chosen label, highlighting the difference between identity, preference, and the dynamic nature of a single encounter.
While this statistical data provides a valuable overview of trends, the numbers alone don't explain the personal and social forces that shape these preferences.
He introduces various types of bottoms, including the 'power bottom' who takes control, the 'submissive bottom' who prefers to please, 'kinky bottoms' with a taste for unconventional play, the 'money bottom' known for vocal expressions, and the 'verse bottom' who enjoys both roles.
Why is it that we usually imagine the swishier men among us as bottoms and reserve our conception of tops for guys who look like G.I. Joe? “It’s all about stereotypes,” said Dr. Andrew Reilly, a psychologist who has written several studies on tops, bottoms, and what our perception of them does to individual psychology. They are the default, not the exception.
Opposites, Overlaps & Everything Between the Sheets
Looking at the numbers by role reveals some of the clearest shifts happening in gay sexuality today.
But there’s some research to back up the idea that masculinity and effeminacy might correlate with those preferences: In particular, a 2013 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, which found that “people rely on perceptions of characteristics relevant to stereotypical male–female gender roles and heterosexual relationships to accurately infer sexual roles in same-sex relationships.”
For those of us who have forgotten their college psych, that means that people can pick out tops just by scanning their faces.
Many bottoms are assertive and confident, and the role can be one of great power and pleasure.
The Rise of the 'Versatile' Majority
The term Versatile, or 'vers,' describes someone who enjoys being both the insertive and receptive partner.
But a 2011 paper by Chinese and Canadian researchers Lijun Zheng, Trevor Adam Hart, and Yong Zheng found that some correlation does exist between one’s preferred position and how likely they are to flame out, at least among the Chinese gay men they studied.
“Once you have your muscles, you’re viewed as straight, even though they have created this other stereotype: the muscular power bottom.”
At the end of the day, Hart and all the other researchers I talked to said that it’s nearly impossible to tell if a guy is a top or bottom just by looking at how he looks, dresses, and behaves.
It challenges the rigid binary that the terms 'top' and 'bottom' can sometimes create.
To help clarify these distinctions and the stereotypes often attached to them, the following breakdown provides a simple overview.
| Role | Primary Action | Common Misconception |
|---|---|---|
| Top | Typically the insertive partner | Assumed to be dominant or more masculine |
| Bottom | Typically the receptive partner | Assumed to be submissive or more feminine |
| Versatile | Enjoys being both insertive and receptive | Seen as indecisive; in reality, it's about flexibility |
Now that these core definitions are clear, we can move beyond the basics.